To do

1. Mow lawn
2. Get rid of that fucking hose
3. Wash windows
4. Spay cat
5. Dye hair
6. Do tarot cards
7. Pick up kids
8. Drop off kids at Mom’s
9. Buy wig
10. See if small removable portion of fence can be cut QUIETLY
11. Kinds of clippers
12. Metal solvents
13. Electrical devices
14. How noisy?
15. Flying metal chips?
16. Danger of electrocution?
17. Rubber gloves/goggles?
18. Lethal?
19. Sign will
20. Does it make the body look really shitty at death?
21. Get tooth capped
22. Send warning letter
23. Newspaper cutouts?
24. Get kids to write it?
25. Write with left hand?
26. Be vague. “Certain unpleasant things”
27. Mail letter
28. Or drop it off while wearing wig
29. Renew meds
30. Investigate poisons
31. Flammable
32. Powders
33. Gasses
34. Pills
35. Herbal
36. Chemical
37. Musical
38. Ask kids
39. Hamlet – ear
40. Ingestible
41. Cookies?
42. Must look INNOCENT
43. Research cameras
44. Affixed to fence
45. Propped in hole cut in fence
46. Small, undetectable
47. Implanted in flowers
48. How to use?
49. Must be REASONABLY priced.
50. Take no shit from photo man.
51. Remind him of ruined prints.
52. Pick up kids
53. Make dinner
54. Get ready for party
55. Polka dots
56. Black gloves
57. Hair ribbon
58. Veil
59. Bring seltzer
60. Remind Stan of party
61. Plan two funny stories
62. Breathing exercises to prepare for seeing THEM
63. Kiss kiss
64. Hug hug
65. Remember: NO ONE CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHTS

Jennifer Egan (1962 – ), first appeared in The Guardian, 22 July 2011.